When you suspect a friend is lying to you, it can be difficult to confront them without knowing the entire story. However, there are some telltale signs that your friend is withholding something from you. For more information on recognizing these telltale signs, read this guide on how to know when your friend is lying.
#1 – They tell you a lot of personal stories.
It’s great to be able to trust your friend, but it can also be problematic if you don’t know how to discern his or her true motivations. People who tell you a lot of personal stories may not always be trying to impress you or make themselves look good.
People will sometimes tell many stories about their past in order to establish a certain image of themselves. They prefer to be portrayed in a certain way and will go to great lengths to maintain that persona.
If your friend is acting this way, chances are they are lying—and they most likely have ulterior motives.
#2 – They make excuses for why they are unable to assist you.
If you ask a friend for help and they deflect, making an excuse for why they can’t help you or making some vague reference to how busy they are, this could be a sign that your friend is afraid of being seen positively.
If they appear to be uninterested, it could be because their ego will not allow them to admit (even to themselves) that others have more value than they do.
Regardless of their reasoning, try not to take it personally when someone refuses to assist you; sometimes people believe that helping others exposes them in some way.
#3 – When asked what they did wrong, they change the subject.
This is not an accident. When someone refuses to discuss something, it is most likely because they are concealing something or lying about what occurred. Examine your friend’s body language and facial expressions to determine whether or not they are lying.
Take note if they move away from you or change their body position when you ask them a question (moving arms or legs closer together). When answering your questions, they may also turn away from you, focusing on something else.
This could indicate that they don’t want to talk about it and are hoping that if they ignore it for long enough, you’ll forget. Remember that some signs may mean nothing at all, but keep an eye out for them and pay attention during conversations with your friends.
#4 – They don’t pay attention
If you ever suspect a friend is lying to you, pay close attention to their body language and eye contact. Liars frequently have stiff bodies and avoid looking people in the eyes.
When you start a sentence with When I said… or You never…, you know you’re not on the same page. You might think they’re just trying to fight back by arguing with you, but they’re most likely lying to you. The best way to deal with someone who is lying in front of you is to call them out on it!
#5 – They hurl You were the first to say it…!
Friends defend one another, and it’s natural to become defensive when you believe your friend is being attacked. However, if they have a habit of saying things like You said that first! or That was your suggestion! It could be an indication of a deeper issue.
This indicates that they may have a tendency to take credit for someone else’s work. Similarly, if they level accusations at you without having all of the facts straight—for example, if someone accuses a mutual friend of lying but then turns out to have misheard—you should probably take note.
#6 – They are smitten by their own voice.
People who constantly brag about how great they are usually have an overinflated sense of self-worth. In fact, if you ask them to tell you everything about themselves, they will almost certainly go on for at least 20 minutes.
If you’ve known them for years and they haven’t told you what their deal is or why they do or don’t do certain things, chances are they never will. While extroverts are naturally chatty, introverts are generally more reserved.
If your friend only speaks in monosyllables but can’t stop talking about his or her own life, you may be dealing with someone who likes to exaggerate.
#7 – They interrupt people who are still speaking.
Beware if your friend is mid-sentence and refuses to let you finish what you’re saying. Liars have a habit of interrupting people in the middle of their sentences in order to control conversations and manipulate others.
So, if your friend interrupts you or continues to speak over you after you’ve finished speaking, it’s safe to assume they’re more interested in getting their point across than in what you’re saying. And only liars lie like that, my friends.
#8 – They talk too much and say too little.
This is a dead giveaway that something is wrong. If your friend is deceiving you, they will want to talk and fill the empty space with sound. They may also reveal personal information that they would not normally reveal, such as where they work or their social security number.
While these kinds of details should only be shared with close friends and family, liars will go to any length to convince you of their story. When you have proof that your friend is lying, confront them right away (read our guide on how to address rumours).
Explain why you suspect something fishy is going on, then consider any evidence before deciding whether or not you and your friend should move forward in a relationship together.
#9 – They are always motivated by self-interest.
Looking at someone’s motivations is the simplest way to tell if they are lying. If they’re always looking out for number one, they’re unlikely to reveal anything. As a result, you may begin to notice some signs that would otherwise go unnoticed.
Your friend, for example, will most likely ignore your invitations or end up canceling plans at the last minute because something better came up or because they don’t feel well.
People who have nothing to hide, on the other hand, don’t make excuses for hanging out with friends and family; in fact, most prioritize those relationships above all else.
#10 – Their stories are filled with intrigue and suspense.
Even better if you’re reading a story where something exciting is happening and there are twists, turns, and surprises. People who tell complete lies tend to write uninteresting stories.
They’re doing nothing but telling you what happened. If your friend is telling you the truth, they will almost certainly include some sort of action element or a twist to make it more interesting. If you want to tell if someone is lying to you, look for excitement.
Conclusion
It is critical to trust your instincts. If you suspect your friend is lying, confront them privately about their suspicious behavior. Let them know you care about them and would like to assist them if they are experiencing any difficulties or challenges in their lives.
However, make it clear that you will no longer support a friendship based on lies. In friendships, as in all other relationships, honesty is a virtue that everyone should strive for.